Until...

I feel like I'm new to this whole dating thing.
I didn't date a ton when I was a young, awkward skateboarder kid (which wasn't as cool back in the 90's!) I married a girl who I chased but wouldn't date me all through high school. 8 years later she cheats on me, and now I'm fully divorced and newly single. And there's my life story, lol.

And believe it or not, we did the divorce peacefully, and are at least on friendly terms today. I suppose it helps that she felt guilty and basically left me everything. Which isn't to say we hang out... I'd actually probably kill the real estate agent who I essentially paid thousands of dollars in fees to sleep with wife, who she not only lives with but just married. True story!

But I'm here... I don't really drink, bars aren't my scene, never were... probably shouldn't jump right into a "waiting for Mr. Right" girl relationship, I'm thinking. But really haven't ever NOT been in one of those!
So I'm figuring out this whole "being single" thing.

Any tips? Haven't had many hits so far even on basic views of my profile.

Well... hello if you are out there!

Does anyone watch this show?

I started watching it last year, always curious about "people who aren't like me" - thinking I was going to see some people getting taught how to be womanizing A-holes.

And instead, it turned out to be a great show, where these totally inhibited loser-types learned how to be attractive and confident. ...a side effect, of course, was they were then able to pick up ladies.

At any rate, there's a Pickup Artist 2 on now - figured someone on a singles forum would watch it!

No problem.

Other people I know tried to answer too, but they were using the emoticons you can add here
...and so their message was lost.

But that's what they meant, too, when they said to use emoticons... I like to use smileys with noses in my texts [ ;-) ] because they look more like smileys - you know, in the event that you are texting someone ELSE who isn't familiar with emoticons.

ROFL is a good one too, maybe a response to a funny someone sends to you, if it's more of a belly-laugh than a chuckle... means "rolling on floor laughing"... they are all a bit of an exaggeration

Great way to word it! That's definitely it. They need an owner who doesn't expect to snap their fingers and get a "cuddle on command" - it has to be on mutual terms.

Funny thing about my cat - he was born without a "play" gene, I swear.
I mean, he plays just fine with himself - batting little furry mice-toys around... but if you move towards him, reach towards him, or bring a toy towards him trying to actually participate, he automatically snaps into "cuddle" mode - doesn't bat at your hand, he rubs his head against it and starts purring...

And he's gotten too smart for the laser pointer... he sees the dot, plays with it for a few seconds, then looks at me with a look like "do you take me for a fool?"

But that is a great toy, until your cat catches on...

It's not hard - you need to literally "text" the body language along:

Throw "LOL" in there - means "laugh out loud" - doesn't really imply more than a chuckle though.
Just like if you were flirting at a bar, and you said something sarcastic and ironic - if you delivered it with a chuckle and a smile, they'd know you were teasing. right?

Use Mr. Smiley - throw some grins:
:-D

...some flirty winks:
;-)

...some self-depricating "wasn't what I just said ridiculously silly?" tongue sticking out smileys:
:-P

Let see here, using one of your examples:
"OMG, you are such a little sh*# - my mom warned me about girls like you!"
Straight delivery - imagine delivering that line in a bar with a straight face? I think you'd get a drink thrown in it...


On the other hand, let's say you sent it this way:
"OMG, you are such a little sh*#, lol... my mom warned me about girls like you! ;-)

See? flirty flirty...

Just think of it this way: You have to text the body language along IN your text.

Oh I'm going to get hated on for this one...
[cringes]

I had this thought about people's personalities and pets... follows the observation that cats hold a grudge and want things on their terms, where on the other hand dogs are so loyal you could just about punt one like a football and they'd turn around and run back to you, tails wagging and tongues hanging out.

Bear in mind, my theory might be just a tad biased, being a lifelong cat owner.

My thought is, maybe cat owners are sensitive enough to the needs of others that they can handle having a pet that, essentially, responds to their treatment just like a person would...
You are mean to a cat, it makes itself scarce for a long time - and do it regularly, it just turns mean right back at you. Just like a person.

I definitely *DO* know some dog owners who don't want it for anything resembling love... and in fact would drop it off on the side of the road at a convenient excuse (and the SPCA is filled with them, for that matter). More of them, I should say that seem to own a dog because of the "image of having a pet" is like an accessory in the lifestyle they want to convey - poor dogs, lol.

Makes me wonder if maybe a "cat lady" is more of an attentive, thoughtful, and compassionate type?
And maybe *some* (not all) dog owners might be a bit more superficial? Hmm?

[runs and hides]

I wish you were in my area...

A couple tips:
Get rid of the "no drama" line...
It just begs questions in guy's minds:

"What does she MEAN by Drama?" a guy would ask who doesn't cause/have drama - in essence scaring off the guy you want to attract.

"Maybe she's all guarded and uptight and defensive because she's been through too much of this... whatever 'drama' is?" Again, scaring off a more laid-back guy you would want to attract.

Also - pictures.
You've got some great pictures up, they show your beauty and personality. Awesome.
So, as an interested guy - I click "view all", and suddenly there's these... ...other people in there... no explanation in the description who they are... are they kids? Nah... Siblings? Family? Ex boyfriends? Cousins? Wait - there's a blonde holding up a fish! Big! Oh, OK...that's not her.
...begs more questions, more speculation!

I'd get rid of ANY pics that aren't you.
Replace them with a nice line that says "I love my family." 'nuff said!

Then - last bit of advice:
Move to Buffalo, NY. I'd love to take you out.

Thanks for the advice so far... I'm a pretty open minded guy, after being married for so long to "what I think I wanted" and having that end badly, I'm thinking maybe I don't want to be so specific! right?

...of course, dating a lesbian-community-involved, free-spirit, [literally] unfurnished-apartment on "the strip" girl whose future vision is in setting up medicine in impoverished countries more than setting up a family someday just miiiight have been too much of a step in the other direction.

I do see, now, the "Who Viewed Me" isn't broken - thanks!

Maybe I should actually be concerned that so many in my area are so guarded- or maybe even downright sneaky? Hmm... pondering... pondering...

I'll think about updating my little blurb for sure. Thanks! And any more feedback is VERY welcome!

Hm...
If that's true, maybe site admins would consider putting an "Anonymous viewed your profile" when someone like that views it?

If I hadn't found this forum, I might have given up thinking the site was just... broken.

Well, maybe I'll get some good female feedback here, presuming I'm actually getting views, and they are viewing and just going "ug" or "err..."
:-P

I'm pretty new here, but I'd think after 2 or 3 weeks that I'd show up in enough local people's search results that I'd have more than 2 people in my "Who Viewed Me" list, right?

So this post serves two purposes:

1) I'd love feedback on my profile and pics. Being somewhat newly single after an 8 year marriage to a cheating wife, I'm trying to even figure out where I stand, lol.

2) I'll see whether your viewing my profile shows up on my list of Who Viewed Me - maybe it doesn't work like I think?

Maybe 3 purposes... is there something that might be keeping my profile from showing up in people's search results?
Thanks!!!!