Okay. So there's no way to change my user name?

THIS SUCKS!!

Hey guys!

Back in the day, I used to be a raccoon, but now I'm Batman.

I miss all of you so much, every day!

Sometimes, I just cry, and think about how much I miss you, and wet my pants.

Ahem.

By the way, I asked for help in the, um, "Help" section but no one responded. Thanks.

THANK YOU SO MUCH! Oh man, I have never received such compliments!

Who would like to join in worshiping me now?

I peed myself laughing at this joke! Thanks! Now I need new pants! (Or diapers!)

Yes.

It really isn't that difficult. Just don't have random sex.

Sorry, but no one can "accidentally" have sex. There are no "mistakes." Unless you're being raped, sex is very intentional and thus those who claim to have "accidentally" or "mistakenly" had sex are full of it and only wish to shirk their personal responsibility as consenting, allegedly conscious adults.

Just avoid putting yourself in situations in which you are tempted to have sex. It really isn't that difficult to avoid, unless you go out of your way to put yourself in situations conducive to such activities.

Simple.

I've done it for 29 years. No excuses.

You're welcome.

Things That Are Beautiful, A List

Once upon a time
I ate an artichoke.

ZAM!!

Oh no, I guess
the artichoke actually ate
me

Perhaps it choked me 'eart.

Sometimes, I get British.

Listen.

LISTEN!!

A poem is something to be read by "patrons."

Goodbye.

7 people viewed this; 0 helped at all.

Make that 10.

Please help?