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Topic:
Possessive?
Edited by
Fred
on
Mon 04/19/21 10:57 AM
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Possessiveness doesn't need to be negative although it can be, it depends on one's self-esteem. It can lead to controlling behavior but not necessarily, again, it depends on the person. To be possessive can show a total acceptance of the other and unwillingness to share which can be a good thing in a balanced individual. I think it's all about nuance and respect. Those feelings and behaviors do not exist in a vacuum, they intertwine with other feelings and behaviors and tug at a person's behavior and her/his esteem for the other. I agree with the intent of your reply but equality and possession are not complimentary. If equality exists, possession can't. If possession exists, equality can't. Granted there can be different possessive behaviors which reinforce other equality in the relationship but agreement is not considered possession. Agreement grants authority. Authority implies possession. Authority and possession assign power. When someone else has power over you (given or taken) they are in possession of your will and it is not the same thing as equality. When you give someone else the power to dictate how you think, feel, act or speak you are not equal. Agreement and authority do not align with equality. Equality does not align with agreement or authority. The basis of society is agreement but as we witness daily, societies are not equal. An agreement between two people is a basic society. For the most part, a relationship between two people will be a societal agreement but some inequality will always exist. Only in unique relationships can there be true equality in all aspects of the relationship. You've described possessiveness in all it's negative aspects coming from an unbalanced individual and in that I agree with you. I'm seeing possessiveness in a positive way from an emotionally balanced individual. When both persons are possessive of each other in a relationship then they're in symbiose and in harmony. Everything has positive and negative, it all depends on the people involved. I do not agree although I too get what you're intent is. But possessiveness is never positive. And an emotionally balanced individual won't be or feel possessiveness of their partner either. You can be proud of someone, I think that's more what a balanced person would feel and display. You can be proud that someone is your partner for instance. Feel happy and lucky they're your partner and are in relationship with you. But that is entirely different from feeling possessive. Possessive is simply restricting, controlling, based on low self-esteem, not trusting, and so on. It is fear based. Ego. There's no positive side to that. I disagree. As I said, everything has a negative and positive side depending on the person's intentions and emotional stability. There is a difference between healthy possessiveness and unhealthy. Healthy possessiveness is based in love, respect and equality. It can bring two persons closer than they ever thought possible when it's reciprocal in mutual understanding. Where it becomes unhealthy is when one person loses respect and goes beyond the limits of respect and love. When something is based on love and respect, it can never be negative. |
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Topic:
Possessive?
Edited by
Fred
on
Mon 04/19/21 09:57 AM
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Possessiveness doesn't need to be negative although it can be, it depends on one's self-esteem. It can lead to controlling behavior but not necessarily, again, it depends on the person. To be possessive can show a total acceptance of the other and unwillingness to share which can be a good thing in a balanced individual. I think it's all about nuance and respect. Those feelings and behaviors do not exist in a vacuum, they intertwine with other feelings and behaviors and tug at a person's behavior and her/his esteem for the other. I agree with the intent of your reply but equality and possession are not complimentary. If equality exists, possession can't. If possession exists, equality can't. Granted there can be different possessive behaviors which reinforce other equality in the relationship but agreement is not considered possession. Agreement grants authority. Authority implies possession. Authority and possession assign power. When someone else has power over you (given or taken) they are in possession of your will and it is not the same thing as equality. When you give someone else the power to dictate how you think, feel, act or speak you are not equal. Agreement and authority do not align with equality. Equality does not align with agreement or authority. The basis of society is agreement but as we witness daily, societies are not equal. An agreement between two people is a basic society. For the most part, a relationship between two people will be a societal agreement but some inequality will always exist. Only in unique relationships can there be true equality in all aspects of the relationship. You've described possessiveness in all it's negative aspects coming from an unbalanced individual and in that I agree with you. I'm seeing possessiveness in a positive way from an emotionally balanced individual. When both persons are possessive of each other in a relationship then they're in symbiose and in harmony. Everything has positive and negative, it all depends on the people involved. |
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TO SAY I L U !!! Confessing your feelings is an Important Milestone in a Relationship. Should a Man be more Courageous than a Woman or Should a Woman Be more Courageous than a Man to Say I L U .. Who should be the First ?? No courage needed unless one is afraid to be rejected. Just truthfulness is enough. |
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Topic:
Possessive?
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Possessiveness doesn't need to be negative although it can be, it depends on one's self-esteem. It can lead to controlling behavior but not necessarily, again, it depends on the person.
To be possessive can show a total acceptance of the other and unwillingness to share which can be a good thing in a balanced individual. I think it's all about nuance and respect. Those feelings and behaviors do not exist in a vacuum, they intertwine with other feelings and behaviors and tug at a person's behavior and her/his esteem for the other. |
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Topic:
Being Open-Mind
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To me open-minded means that one isn't stuck on her/his own opinions and is open to investigate and eventually include someone else's ideas on a topic to her/his own way of looking at the world. That's what it means to me too, but I've experienced that in the dating scene it can suddenly have entirely different connotations. It's similar to "activity partner" in that sense. To me that means someone to do fun things with, to go places, a city trip, shopping, walking, cooking, whatever. But apparently to many in the dating scene it suddenly means the same as 'intimate encounter'. Lots of people use words to their own ends, that's why I love definitions in dictionaries. There has to be some bases to fall back on otherwise it's anarchy. The "dating scene" is a world all its own. I think it's up to each of us to set proper limits from the start. |
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Topic:
Being Open-Mind
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To me open-minded means that one isn't stuck on her/his own opinions and is open to investigate and eventually include someone else's ideas on a topic to her/his own way of looking at the world.
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I feel stretched like butter over too much bread. Very busy!!!
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Topic:
Soul
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I sold my soul to the debbil, for a pack of Winstons and a pair of Dingo boots. Incidentally, "debbil" means "out of one's fecking mind" in French. Not spelled that way, now... |
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Topic:
Being Open-Mind
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Being open-mind can lead to have a successful relationship online? I believe being open mind is very positive to have successful relationship on here. Then I wish you all the best. |
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Topic:
Possessive?
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Possessiveness grounded in commitment , protection and care can increase bonds in a relationship . Over-possessiveness based on insecurity, distrust and obsession is usually dysfunctional and in most cases creates inequality in a relationship . In a relationship .., I like a man who is protective of me .. but also is aware of my strengths and limitations . 
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I'm 24 years old and a 45 yeah old man is asking me out and he is very caring and loving he has always make me feel better and gives me good advice always , please should I accept him in my life That is for you and only you to decide. Having said that, I can guarantee you that people who will see you together will judge you and look at him sideways. A lot of people say "age doesn't matter" but those are just words. Real life is different. Also depends what part of the world you live in. |
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Topic:
Coronavirus - part 2
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They sure rolled that vaccine quite quickly while they were telling us ( at least here in France ) that a vaccine wasn't going to be available for at least 3 years.
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Topic:
Draft
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Women can do everything a man can. The Draft should include all sexes regardless what or how or who they identify as. Male-Only Draft is sexual discrimination towards women and the LGBTQ community and shouldn't exist in 2021. Men can do anything a woman can do..... Caitlin Jenner got woman of the year - men are even better at being a woman than women are 
Did Jenner carry a baby for 9 months? |
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Topic:
need more friends
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Best to you, welcome
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Topic:
Im new to this site
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Hello and welcome.
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Topic:
Salut tout le monde
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J'espère que vous allez bien en cette difficile période. Si besoin de chatter je suis là pour écouter. Une bonne rigolade remonte le morale, non?
Bises |
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Topic:
Hello
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Welcome.
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Topic:
Draft
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Women can do everything a man can. The Draft should include all sexes regardless what or how or who they identify as. Male-Only Draft is sexual discrimination towards women and the LGBTQ community and shouldn't exist in 2021.
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Chinese women... Sure, I don't see why not. I think the inner person is more important than where she happens to be from.
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Topic:
Possessive?
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Would you like your partner to be possessive? Possessive, sure ok. It's better than jealous or controlling. Is there a difference? To me yes. |
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