<3 Mom

thank you Leigh. i know many tortured souls

I think some of us are like the buffalo
Being driven off cliffs
To save our lives
Stampeding blindly
Clinging together in a mass of energy
Energy that can only be found in a state
Of panic
Tragic flooding of terror bringing
Brush fires of despair
Set by the careless who couldn't
Care less about
The beauty of one
That belongs to a group of so
Many
So many hearts broken by the abuse of
Others
Betrayal's lashes cause lids to close and
Tears to flow
That are swallowed
Not to be seen by anyone
The pain has painted the inside of hearts and
Souls with pictures
Petroglyphs upon the sides of cliffs
Only the buffalo can see

Lost in Minnesota
My Love is far far away
In a place where a pike is not a fish
I could not find it
It does not have fins

Lost here in Minnesota
A place that I do not speak the
Language
A place where up means down
My Love lives where North is South

If I were to use only signs
I would find paradise
Easily
So easy to be with
My Sweetest love
He speaks what I speak
Even in sweet silence

I am lost, today
Tomorrow I still will be
My Love has shown me how easy
To find my way with no painted signs
Only sings of love
We signal, each day
I am a lighthouse, he is my ship

We will find our way
Together
it is so easy, My Sweetest Love
I will shine brightly
Knowing you will be with me
The rocks pose no danger
They will be our razor wire

Be with me my Sweetest Love
Christopher John Mazey

I thought about changing my name today
I changed my hair but
No luck changing my personality
It is as permanent as the half done tattoo
On my arm

i could make myself a secret again
Be anonymous
Or one of so many, I could never be
Singled out
Be placed under the microscope

What name would I be?
I would not take the name of another
Could not
And taint that one, like all the others
Only to change again, with my spirit's season

I am change
It is unavoidable
Like the pain of life
So painfully unavoidable
Some say I am lovable
I can be so terrible

As in the comic books
As in two gentlemen
Fight for the honor of a fair lady
A duel to the death to win my love
To banish Stupid to hell
I cross my heart and wonder
How does one use Rosary Beads?

Rest well
Is me
Heart slowed with his
Words
Close my eyes
Watching his eyes
Close
Rest well
Us
Reminisce of soft
Kisses, warm skin, his
Breathing
Clock ticking
Hearts beating
Love him, need him
Rest well
Wrapped in blanket
His half
My half
Wholly bound
By fibers, gold
Our eyes closed
I see us together with
My eyes closed
We rest together

The process of missing you
It is new for me, and it is a new kind of
Empty
In recent hours spent in your company
In quiet, in car, inside, outside
Under stars, clouds, leaves, You
You under me, beside me, above me

I am not familiar with the missing of you
Of the absence of your voice in my ear
Your breath on my skin
Your damp skin from making love
My skin bonded with your skin
I am not comfortable with this discomfort
Of missing you

I have hours of light casting one shadow
I have hours of sleep
The only time I can be with you
I am not comfortable with your absence
I sit side by side with Lonely
Lonely being my company
Just temporarily, I tell myself

Lonely, keep me company
Until, My Love can be
With me, and me with Him
Make comfort come in waves to me
The same as when You photographed me
My Beloveds eyes touching, soothing, caressing
While I stood on a beach in New Jersey

If I look like I know a secret
It is a secret kept from me
And you know as well as me
As well as I can be
As well as can be expected

I know a secret
A secret kept from me
Worth the wait
I will wait and see
And see the sea again with you

If I look like I know a secret
It is for me to know and you
To find out, to discover
As I uncover myself and My Love
In the boldest light of day

This is going to be a hard ride
My feet keep slipping out of the stirrups
Her new name is Sweet Jesus as I think hard
Not to grab the saddle horn
A hard ride

She takes me through a maze
"Close your eyes" she says
I feel nothing but myself
So tired, so tired, my limbs and heart
So tired

It is a hard ride and my eyes are closed
She says "trust me
"Sweet Jesus" I say
"Will we be OK?"
My ankles are sore, my feet are now
Out of the stirrups

I am not gripping the saddle horn
I am riding blind, but for her eyes
She would never hurt me
She carries me
She carries me, through this maze that
Terrorizes me

"Sweet Jesus" I whisper
It is a hard ride, my eyes are closed
I am scared, my muscles tremble from clinging to
Her sides
Remember, heels down, as the empty stirrups bump me
"Please let me be OK" I say
With my eyes closed

Easy
Does it
Did it
Will do it
Again

Run away
Run with you
Jump over timber
Run through water
Four eyes looking foreword

Or two eyes looking back?
With you
I don't watch my back
Will you turn your back
On me?
I believe what I want
Do you still want me?

We step in time
Matched like a team
Like clock work you and
I
For all time if you wish
I have made a clearing
For our home
In us

Meet me at the top
Of the world
Meet me under the
Full ivory moon
Sing in long, drawn, howls
Us, in unison
We can unite the earth and sky

It is time to set to work
To do some cleaning of dirty things
Things that reek of fermented hate
To sweep the floor of rotten apples and
Canker sores


No worries, my Dear
We will make easy work of the burning
Of bridges
Our bridge is all we need, and we can
Fly or swim if our bridge is crossed by
Double-crossers

There is no need to need the flat-lining
Approval
So limited, so thin, it may be broken with a
Single breath
Save your breath for me, My Love
You may fill my heart by way of my mouth

Rest easy, My Love
I will do the work if you are tired
I will make you tea and smooth golden blankets
Over chilled bones
You rest easy, I will make easy work of lighting the match
That matches us and burns them
I promise, my Love
Christopher John Mazey

If I were the ocean
I would wash over your feet and pull you
Into me, and you would go willingly
If I were the ocean
I would kiss your feet
Kiss your ankles
Kiss your legs
Soft, salty, sea foam, I would cling to you
As I have clung to you under starry skies and
Under trees who's many hands shaded us from
The moon
As I have clung to you, in darkened moments lit only
By a candle's light, or the watchful street light, who's
Glowing shadow looked down upon us
When we first kissed
If I were anything, I would want to be me, with you
With you, always

I have gone far to find who
Is most close to me
And even though
Some time has passed and there
Were times in the past when I just wanted
To be alone
I just don't want to be alone now

I have gone far to find that there is
Love
Fragile, gentle, thoughtful, spanning miles
I hope it travels well
I carry coins for my wishing wells and fare wells
To my Love
My wings are gleaming from my lover's touch
Smoothing, stroking my course to fine feathers
He has made me from gritty stone to
Soft sandy beach

I will have gone, this time next week
This time this Sunday
And no sun will shine on those days
If there was rain on my travels to him
There will be clear skies, with rain
Filling my westward eyes
Dear Love, I have left my mark, the same as mine
Don't forget me

If you see my twin in cloudy skies
Remember me
Touch my heart on your arm and
Remember me

Christopher John Mazey

I can fly into storms, but
I prefer to fly in clear skies, where
I can see you with the sun and moon
I am not afraid of barking dogs
And howling, scardy cats
With boots, I could be kicking, silencing the noise
Instead
I match your steps, and
We walk away
Together

Hi Journeyman,
Nice to see you too. Thank you. I like it here. <3

I love being in your bed
The bed you slept in before I knew you
The bed you sleep in when we are apart
I love being in your bed

The view is different from your bed
The pillow, my head's resting place
I roll to my left side, and enjoy the view
The view of you, in your intimate world

I lay here in your bed
It is warm and welcoming
It is made for one
If two could be one, we are

I hold your head, my arms curled around
You
I am a hitchhiker of your dreams, while i press next to
You
You are never more beautiful than when you sleep
I watch you dream, and dream with you, as you lovingly share
Your bed

Hi Leigh
I set out before light on Saturday.
I am so ready for an adventure and to meet Christopher.

xxx

I saw the gulls fly this morning
In waves in sky through misty windshield
I saw the beach of the East, I saw you

I spill my coffee, and wipe wet hands on
Pant legs, stained, but that is OK
It is OK, how I look, how I am, I am free

I fly, as the gulls, in grey skies, chilled
As I shiver by Northern winds, my Southwestern blood
Running, running, cold, I am running to you

You are the mirror of my sky, and I see myself
Better, with you, will you see you, better
With me, my Love, my Sweetheart?

I found it today
I was not looking, I looked at it
The box that started it all
An avalanche, and me, on the mountainside
I looked at it, not too large
Not large enough for such terror
The contents, just books, bills and Christmas cards
I looked at the box and remembered
I was forced to dig up what was buried under
Cold, packed snow, the cold packed days that nearly
Suffocated me
I looked at the box, and revisited the contents
Just books and Christmas cards now
The bills, gone, like he is gone, a part of the purging
The ongoing purging, of what one might call
My life

Just between you and me, life is
An acquired taste

I have not had the stomach for it on many
Occasions, but occasionally I get a taste
That makes me forget the bitterness that has
Touched my tongue and soured my experience
My experiences have been of things that conjure up
Veins of lava, contorting my core

Just between you and me, life is
An acquired taste

I struggle to swallow, but do because I must
And I bite my tongue and focus on a point of interest
That holds my interest long enough
Until the discomfort passes
Each passing day, makes taking life
A little easier, with sweet hearts, settle mine

Just between you and me, life is
An acquired taste

I touch it with my finger and touch my finger
With my tongue, and my mouth becomes wet
This life of mine, so dry, so bitter, so sour
You offer me a cup, held with loving hands
I trust my server, I take a sip, I kiss his hand
The drink is warm, and warms me
My Love, warms me, flavors my lips with
The hunger for this taste for life