1. We got off the Titanic first.

2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.

7. Taxis stop for us.

8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).

11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.

12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.

13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.

16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.

18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.

19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.

21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.

22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.

23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.

25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.

26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.

28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.

30. We have enough sense to realize that the easiest way to get out of being lost is to ask for directions.

I have a Gaming keyboard :) the other keys i dont use :)

ROFL

Thanks but some i cant post :( :)

This site is 'the dogs' << Thats good by the way :)

Dont come to England then m8 its always cold!!

I suppose i'd better post in here :) after posting my jokes :)

Im new and i love this site more than any other i have been apart of.
Everyone is so friendly, and as you can see from my post (Jokes) i dont take life serious.
I have already made an aquaintance from NC and what a lovely lady she is, very friendly.

I will be posting lots :), i like to post / spam :). im a nutter but a nice one lmao.

PS. I must censor all my jokes before posting <S>

Are you male or female?
To find out the answer just look down...



































I said look down Not scroll down :)

A
B
C
D
E
F
G
H
I
J
K
L
M
N
O
P
Q
R
S
T
U
V
W
X
Y
Z
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
0

Yes thats ok all the keys work on my keyboard:)
Sorry for disturbing you :)

Husband to wife:-

we should start washing your panties in slim fast to make your bum look thinner.

Next day he puts his boxers on and the yare covered in powder.!
He says to wife '' did you put talc in my boxers''?

No she replied its 'Miracle Grow' ?

This is from an Ex girlfriend
I dont believe any of it for one moment
It also passes the PG and R rating ;)


'' It finally all makes sense..... i never looked at it his way before..''

MENtal Illness!
MENstrual Cramp
MENtal breakdown
MENopause
GUYnocologist ( spelt wrong ;) )
and when ladies have real trouble its a
HISterectomy
Ever notice how all womens problems start with MEN!!!

I have more but after reading the rules for the forum they are not PG or R rated

A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her.
Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket toward the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.


'Oh my, I am so sorry,' the woman says as she pops her eye back in place.
'Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you,' she says.
They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the theatre followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens.
After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast. They had a wonderful, wonderful time. The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed. Everything had been SO incredible!
'You know,' he said, 'you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?'
'No,' she replies..























WAIT for it. .

















It's coming. .








The suspense is killing you, isn't it?












She says:

'You just happened to catch my eye.'

We can't all be that transparent, can we?

Why pay for anything, everything is available FOC on the net, its knowing where to go

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