"Lets get out of here...before one of those things kills Guy!"

I think that I may have heard him on Coast to Coast am.I Know that the matrix books have been the topic before. and yes I am very interested!

Much of the Scientology belief system does make you think.( its what I get spending too much time in ancient texts)

Ive read everyting I can get my hands on about aliens, and wondered if this could tie in to the animal mutlation cases.

jokes aside I would like to kow more about this:"According to David Icke, ("The Biggest Secret") the galaxy aliens worship their own God and are really ritualistic and they engage in blood sacrifices all the time."

unless it was 'Zenu' that came to earth of course!

Scientologists would have a big party !

Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the craps table. A very attractive blonde lady comes in and wants to bet $10,000 on a single roll of the dice. And she adds, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I m completely nude."

With that she takes off everything but her necklace and rolls the dice while yelling, "Mama needs new clothes." Then she yells, "YES, YES, YES!! I WON, I WON, I WON."

She begins jumping up and down and hugging both of the dealers. Then she picks up her money and her clothes and quickly leaves. The dealers just stare at each other dumbfounded. Finally one of them asks, "What did she roll, anyway?"

The other answers, "I don't know. I thought YOU were watching."

Procrastinator's Creed

* 1. I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.
* 2. I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses.
* 3. I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of consideration.
* 4. I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing them.
* 5. I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possibility for new technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from my obligations.
* 6. I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable regardless of the amount of time given.
* 7. I shall never forget that the probability of a miracle, though infinitesmally small, is not exactly zero.
* 8. If at first I don't succeed, there is always next year.
* 9. I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
* 10. I shall always begin, start, initiate, take the first step, and/or write the first word, when I get around to it.
* 11. I obey the law of inverse excuses which demands that the greater the task to be done, the more insignificant the work that must be done prior to beginning the greater task.
* 12. I know that the work cycle is not plan/start/finish, but is wait/plan/plan.
* 13. I will never put off until tomorrow, what I can forget about forever.
* 14. I will become a member of the ancient Order of Two-Headed Turtles (the Procrastinator's Society) if they ever get it organized.

A couple were on their way to Vegas to get married. Before getting there, the girl said to the guy that she had a confession to make. The reason that they have not been too intimate is because she is very flat chested.

"If you want to cancel the wedding, then I'll understand," she said. The guy remarked, "I don't mind that you're flat, and sex is not the most important thing in a marriage anyway."

Several miles down the road, the guy turned to the girl and said that he also had a confession to make. The reason that they have not been too intimate is because he is just like a baby below the waist. The girl remarked, "I don't mind that like, and sex is not the most important thing in a marriage anyway."

And so, the happy couple went on to Vegas and got married. On their wedding night, the girl took off her clothes. True to her word, she is as flat as a washboard. Then, the guy took
off his clothes. After one glance at his naked body, the girl fainted and fell to the floor.

When she regained consciousness, the guy said, "I told you before we got married, so why were you so surprised?"

"You told me it was just like a baby." The guy replied, "It is! 8 pounds and 21 inches long!"

Top medical acronyms
CTD - Circling the Drain (A patient expected to die soon)
GLM - Good looking Mum
GPO - Good for Parts Only
TEETH - Tried Everything Else, Try Homeopathy
UBI - Unexplained Beer Injury

A man tells the bartender he wants to buy a drink for the woman at the end of
the bar. The bartender say's "don't bother, she a lesbian" but the man say's
to go ahead. When she gets the drink she nods at the man.
Ten minutes later, he tells the bartender to give her another. The
bartender say's "Man you're wasting your time, she's a lesbian." The man say's to do it anyway. The woman just nods at him again.
Ten minutes later he tells the bartender to give him her drink, and he'll take it over.
The bartender just shakes his head, and gives him the drink.
The man sits down next to the woman, gives her the drink, and said "so... how are things
in Lesbonon".

Golf

The Englishman's wife steps up to the tee and, as she bends over to place her ball, a gust of wind blows her skirt up and reveals her lack of underwear.
"Good God, woman! Why aren't you wearing any knickers?" her husband demanded.
"Well, you don't give me enough housekeeping money to afford any."
The Englishman immediately reaches into his pocket and says, "For
the sake of decency, here's $50. Go and buy yourself some underwear."
Next, the Irishman's wife bends over o set her ball on the tee. Her
skirt also blows up to show that she is wearing no undies. "Blessed Virgin
Mary, woman! You've no knickers. Why not?"
She replies, "I can't afford any on the money you give me."
He reaches into his pocket and says, "For the sake of decency,
here's $20. Go and buy yourself some underwear!"
Lastly, the Scotsman's wife bends over. The wind also takes her skirt over her head to reveal that she, too, is naked under it.
"Sweet mudder of Jaysus Aggie! Where the frig are yer drawers?"
She too explains, "You dinna give me enough money ta be able ta affarrd any.
The Scotsman reaches into his pocket and says, "Well, fer the love
'o Jaysus 'n the sake of decency, here's a comb. Tidy yerself up a bit."

A man staggered into a hospital with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes, and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat.
Naturally, the Doctor asked him, "What happened to you?"

"Well, I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a cow pasture.
We went to look for them and while I was looking around I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end."

"I walked over, lifted its tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife's monogram on it - stuck right in the middle of the cow's backside."

Still holding the cow's tail up, I yelled to my wife, "Hey, this looks like yours!"

There is a fly hovering 8 inches above the water, under the water is a fish who is thinking to himself if that fly drops 6 inches I'll jump up and get me some dinner.

On the bank is a bear who sees the fish who sees the fly and thinks to himself if that fly drops 6 inches, that fish will jump and I will reach out and get me some dinner.

On the other bank there is a hunter who sees the bear, who sees the fish , who sees the fly. He thinks to himself if that fly drops 6 inches that fish will jump, the bear will reach out and I will stand to shoot and get me some dinner.

Behind the hunter there is a mouse who sees the hunter, who sees the bear, who sees the fish, who sees the fly. He thinks to himself. He thinks to himself if that fly drops 6 inches that fish will jump, the bear will reach out, the hunter will stand to shoot and I will run up and grap the cheese from his sandwhich and have me some dinner.

In the bushes behind the mouse there is a cat who sees the mouse, who sees the hunter, who sees the bear, who sees the fish, who sees the fly. He thinks to himself if that fly drops 6 inches that fish will jump, the bear will reach out, the hunter will stand to shoot, the mouse will run up and I will pounce and get me some dinner.

Well... after a few minutes sure enough that fly drops, the fish jumps, the bear reachs out, the hunter stands to shoot, the mouse runs up, the cats pounces.....Splash!!!

The Moral of the story is, Everytime a fly drops 6 inches a ***** gets wet.

The wife got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the
party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued
and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there
was no need for his good time to be spoiled by her not going. So he
took his costume and away he went.

The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, woke without pain,
and as it was still early, decided to go to the party.
As her husband didn’t know what her costume was, she thought she would
have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was
not with him.

So she joined the party and soon spotted her husband in his
costume, cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice “chick”
he could and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there.

His wife went up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he
left his new partner high and dry and devoted his time to her.
She let him go as far as he wished, naturally, since he was her
husband.

After more drinks he finally whispered a little proposition
in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had
passionate intercourse in the back seat.

Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home and
put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of
explanation he would make up for his outrageous behaviour.

She was sitting up reading when he came in, so she asked what
kind of time he had. “Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good
time when you’re not there.”

Then she asked,” Did you dance much?”
He replied, I’ll tell you; I never even danced one dance.
When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went
into the spare room and played poker all evening.

” You must have looked really silly wearing that costume playingpoker
all night!” she said with unashamed sarcasm. To which the husband
replied, “Actually, I gave my costume to your brother, apparently
he had the time of his life”!

you forgot one . "whats grey and bubbly and taps on the glass ?" "An elephant in a microwave" great jokes!

words to live by!

Good luck to you with this. I wish you the best of it!
if you are that into them , enjoy your time together every minute is priceless. Evry ending or change brings some pain or remorse but life is short ,dont sweat the details and enjoy your time together

smoking is almost simple ,the smoker just respects the personal space of who they'er with. If they can't hold out for a few hours maybe its not in the cards.