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Community > Posts By > Bigblackxxx
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Every relationship starts out with both parties being able to reach out and communicate with one another. Finding joy and solace in each other's company!
But many atimes, we allow this communication channels to clog up, leading to lack of proper understanding and misconceptions! Why do we stop talking, when we know the consequences will negatively affect our heart's peace? |
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Topic:
Relationship Material
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The control I seek is for my own life, not others. I do like things a certain way but am also very laid back when it comes to other people and what they like or do. It's hard to find a guy who is man enough to stand up to me but can also let me have my way sometimes too. I'm just looking for a happy medium and not finding it. |
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Topic:
asalam aleikum
Edited by
Bigblackxxx
on
Mon 09/10/12 01:58 AM
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Salam, While i agree with the main substance in your post, it is the use of the word 'animal' that i feel quite uncomfortable with :-)
If a sincerely loving lady would seek to mould me to ensure we have a happy relationship, why should i object? :-) If there is any loving heart ready to give it a try, hit me up :-) |
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Topic:
Relationship Material
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In my own view, it seems the issue with you is that you aren't able to put up with guys who are really able to steer the ship of a relationship! You actually love being in control :-) and it seems initially, you enjoy being the one 'taking care' of your men, and in the long run, the let you run the show :-) and this later puts the load on up shoulders :-)
If you meet a guy who seems capable of being with you on equal terms or being able to take the lead, why don't you allow him the chance and be the pampered baby for once? :-) It doesn't hurt you to allow the man take charge while you enjoy the relationship. I'm not asking you to simply let go of your life completely and hand over to some man :-) I simply ask that you give your men (the capable among them i mean) an opportunity to play a significant part in deciding how your relationship works :-) I'm not inferring that you're the bossy type :-) but maybe instead of taking decisions unilaterally, using the 'Do you think WE should.....?' kind of method could help you identify who is right for you :-) As for remaining alone, i wouldn't wish that on you :-) Life is sweeter with love :-) It is a simple fact of life whatever our past experiences of love may have been. Life itself is a gamble :-) and i'd better continue trying to meet that real love than sentence myself to perpetual bitter loneliness of a loveless life :-) Wish you all the best :-) |
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Online relationship can take different shades and i'd say it is only by being able to read the unwritten words between the lines that you get to know who the other person is!
For someone you met on this site, I'd expect a long running exchange of onsite mails to be enough to get to know each other in the begining. A msg or two a day could advance into exchange of Mobile sms. Though, while i wouldn't have much against off site emails, I personally don't have much trust in Yahoo! The registration is too OPEN and there is no security check that can help trace the account user if there should be reason in the future. Gmail for instance has a phone sms confirmation system before you can get an account registered. And with most countries in the world having SIM Registration mechanisms in place, it is possible to trace the true identity of the phone owner if there should any case of illegality in the future. This said, i'd like to believe online relationships should be allowed to mature on their own starting out as simple friendships and maybe later on with better knowledge, progress into a deeper relationship. Then there is the long distance thing, if you are both living in places far away from one another, i'd simply look at it as better being a Pen pal kind of stuff. I personally have many such pals across the world and with the long distance seperating us, i don't enter into any immature daydream of something more intimate for now. Also i'd love to think most of us here have some other online identity or the other. If someone is real, there should be some other online identifications that with time will show you who they are. But my keyword in this situation is always Caution and Patience. It is never going to be possible to know who is true and who is a fake without taking some time. If you think something is not right, do some research into it, and ask direct or subtle indirect questions :-) And from the answers you come up with, you may know better. On the whole, just like real life relationships take some time to mature, online meet ups also need time for ppl to get to know each other. A liar will certainly slip along the way! Even if you live close by, i'd suggest, the first physical meet ups are in mutually agreed public places until some kind of trust is established. |
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Topic:
men lie women lie.
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If a relationship is true, then why would any of the partners need to lie? Or has another definition been found for the word LIE?
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Edited by
Bigblackxxx
on
Thu 08/30/12 02:41 AM
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While everyone is entitled to his or her own perceptions on any topic under the earth, it is very amusing that people with access to information to guide their utterances are found to be either too lazy to research into topics or simply decide to stick to an opinion whether it is right or wrong :-)
From experience in dealing with diverse individuals and groups from various ethnicities and faiths, i've come to the realisation that generalisation is simply illogical when looking at issues! It is also amusing when people of a supposedly matured age descend into using language that would make you cringe even if used by an immature child :-) Even if it is an online discussion on a dating site, it would have been expected that some decorum is used when making opinions! Maybe it is sometimes forgotten that the personality spills out through our words :-) That said, i'm of the stand that anyone pertaking in violence under any guise is simply not religious! The value God places on human life goes far beyond allowing anyone to unilaterally take it upon himself or herself to snuff out lives in the name of religion. Coming from a multiethnic background myself, i know the various deceptions carried out in the name of ethnicity and religion! But if i may ask, should we ascribe violence to only one faith because of the antics of a few extremists? Or should we take EVERY extremist from ALL divides as an enemy of humanity? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christian_terrorism http://www.booknotes.org/Watch/178163-1/Jessica+Stern.aspx Just my thoughts :-) |
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Welcome to the fun :-) You got on the right train :-) Wish you luck in ur search :-)
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Topic:
a kiss is just a kiss..
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Wouldn't agree :-) A kiss is more than JUST a kiss :-) Depends on with you, how deep, the settings, the emotions, etc :-)
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Topic:
Hey
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Hi, welcome to the party :-) always great to see new ppl come in :-)
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I personally wouldn't put up with a lEECH :( While i wouldn't ever wish to shirk my responsibilities, it really enhances a relationship if a lady has some source of income on her own :-)
And a man who doesn't have any fire inside him to make something out of his life is surely a NO GO AREA for any lady who wishes well for herself! |
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Topic:
New to being single again...
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Welcome onboard :-) I'd say you've taken the right step by signing up and posting in the Forums :-) Wish you all the best in ur search :-).
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The actions of the Taliban do not necessarily represent that of Islam!
While there are classes of offences that are punishable by the death penalty, even those are only metted out after a very deep investigative and judicial process. There is no where in the Holy Quran where extrajudicial summary execution is prescribed for any offence! So, while the Taliban and other groups may claim their actions as being Islamic, they mostly have on Quranic text to back them up. It is very important to always look at actions in terms of being a laid down Islamic principle or just an interpretation by a remote group claiming to be right! http://www.bbc.co.uk/religion/religions/islam/islamethics/capitalpunishment.shtml http://islam.about.com/cs/law/a/c_punishment.htm http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Capital_case |
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This thought just crossed my mind :-) While we've mostly grown up to accept the woman as the 'Director in charge of Food Affairs' in the home, do you think a man who loves cooking (and is good at it) should be given some time to show his skills?
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We mostly say we are in search of love! But how many of us are really courageous to connect if it is love that reaches out to us first?
Actually intended for the males :-) But female perspectives are welcome :-) |
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Seems i was hasty :-D Wouldn't say more than that for now :-) But my earlier presumption seems not be much valid now :-)
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Wouldn't blame them :-) Experience teaches us some fine things :-)
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Topic:
how do I know who is who?
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Like you'd meet in many other online media, i agree there are fakes around, but if you stay around for some time and float around the Forums, you'd surely identify the grain from the chaff :-) and by ur contributions you'd also be identified to be real or otherwise :-)
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Sincerity,
Compassion Morality |
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Topic:
success rate
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Hi, welcome onboard :-) the answer to ur question is ALL OF THE ABOVE :-) We chat, make virtual friends, and some go far deeper. Wish you the very best in ur search :-).
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