I am a flower
I am a daisy in the morning
I am a rose in the evening
And a Cereus at night

I am the water
The soil
The air
All the way to the sea

I am doubt
I am existence
I am love
I am inconceivable

I take
I give
I write
I sing
I dance
I live
I love

I am who
I am
And, I am
whose I am
And I am,
yours.

Through The Valley

Slowly treading
through the territory
on border of broken souls.
The sign read "Turn Around,
No Tears Past The Gate,"
But, this gate was not a pictorial from a precious moments Bible,
No.

The ground like shattered shells pierce and score my feet!
I cry and scream at the very crest of my lungs
only to hear a small whimper escape!
Can't you hear me!

Why do I keep going?
I don't know.
When I know only misery paves the path I meander.
The sound one so effortless,
from my belly to my lips, is sewed
by the friends of the damned.


I have been grabbed at by the remnants of
The bastards who lay down and call themselves
men to many times. My body is weak and broken
I still turn around to them.
These demons seem to be alive, but in their eyes they are dead and soulless!
And, in me I carry what they desire.

I bear the scares.
I am still past the gate walking.
I dare unlike others to continue the crossing through the valley of the shadow.
Some light is left in my eyes.
Some tears are left in me.
Oh yes, this place steals your tears to create it's oceans.

I only ask one thing;
When I complete my journey
that I be strong enough to heal my own wounds.
To then reach up to cut the string that seals my mouth.
That I sing,
and if I ask,
that you carry me the rest of the way
home.

wow, thank you

In your arms the world looks differently:

The sky is higher and the grass is shorter,
and the ants are here to play not to sting.

The food looks better, the calories seem friendlier
and even wine has a strong kick.

I see the world differently from here;
I feel the world so sweetly from my warm cocoon.

I want to be here forever.

The Old Spot


I’ve been waiting, inside,
counting the hours like days,
watching the strings snap
against the bark of the tree I lie beneath.
It grows endlessly and boundlessly
and I grab for a branch
finding a leave in my hand instead.
“Don’t leave me behind,”
I ask patiently.
But the tree
and the earth and the wind
all move without me,
it seems.

I want to catch the wind in a jar
and keep it for a hot day;
I want the leaves to fall
and make me a warm bed
to sleep the earthly changes away;
I want to wake to the way things should be,
as they were before.
But that can’t happen in this world,
nor the next.
I can’t abandon my place here,
it’s all I know
but, it’s changing around me
and growing;
I must grow with it.
But I pull and pull
till I’ve pulled so hard
it’s al behind me,
and I find myself in a river
drifting
toward the old spot.

Now it is dark,
now the trees have gone,
and the earth has changed
and I let it pass me by.
And, I didn’t even get to say
goodbye.

I've been in one for like 5 days. It's been the worst and best of my life. But, I'm at my breaking point. He'll not call for days and I want to kill him, and I get depressed and then out of the blue he'll finally answer his phone or call and it's like I'm a schoolgirl again. I feel stupid.

My advice- don't do it.

Thank you!

Pins and needles
pins and needles
all around
on the the air
in the sound of a voice
in my skin
pins
and needles
cozy, loved
striking, slicing,
hurting
good and bad
what's the difference
in the pins
or the needles
why do they hurt
as bad
as they don't
why am I always on
pins and needles

Never mind, sorry to get anyone's hopes up-

It really was too good to be true...

Night all.

Hi all, I just wanted to talk about it b/c I am so happy.

I met "my other half" through this site.

He appeared in my mutual matches (when I clicked "show me more"), and turns out he was in a near-by town.

We talked on JSH for a while exchanging tons of emails, then decided to meet.

The minute he walked in, I felt like I was seeing an old friend again.

Everything he said, everything he did...we even like the same dorky shows, haha like Stargate SG-1.

I have been praying to God to send me a man like him, it was like he was reading out of the "what I want in a man" manual/script.

I am so happy and, I really think I've found "the one." I've never been able to say that before...

So, sorry boys- I'm taken! And, hopefully I won't become available again...haha.

Come on, there's got to be someone in Tallahassee who wants to go out and be around people as much as I do, isn't there?

Message me.

How can a person be so lonely this early in life with so many other lonely ppl in the world?

I'm not voting for Hillary Clinton, but the view makes a good point- as a woman how can I not take part in this ?

But, at the same time- what if ppl vote for Hillary just to be part of this- and what if that (could it) sway the vote?

What do you think?

class without logging on and looking for mail?

no....

Set Me Down

And, as the sun is setting
on the horizon you might look
to find me standing.

In the light I’ll fall
for you to catch me,
like the moon catching
a run away comet.

Something so beautiful and powerful
will surely leave a large
impact.
So be ready,
be prepared.
Just, look at the moon
and ask yourself;
Is it scarred
or tattoed?

Flowers and Daisies

To take my hand
And show me kindness
To make the woman
Out of me a
Girl again
Proudly displaying the signs of
Flowers and daisies

To kiss my cheek
And my forehead
And everywhere you can think
Before my lips
When I lay sleepy
In the morning

To hold me in the
Times of darkness
To speak the words
I need and want
When I have no ears left
To the cold world

To most this would seem
The ultimate compassion
A heart given fully
To be received completely

But when a heart is torn
When it is scarred
When the mind is bent
And shut from anything but
The norm (of the existing)

It is the supreme abuse
To the soul
Of this soul
To be loved
By one who loves so much

A Net Cast in the Sea of Love

I wanted to write you something.
A poem,
or perhaps a song
if the melody could be captured.
I wanted to write of love,
and compassion, and pleasure
of the heart.
A muscle which must be exercised,
but would caution
For you I take down my velvet rope
on my velvet robe.
For this tempest of thoughts,
as a storm upon the ocean,
cannot be satisfied by mere words.
For me, the bright lights of fancy
are provisionally out of reach.
Like a star twinkling in the pitch of the
night sky.
For you my dear
I write.
Yes, my heart belongs to you.
What an unswerving hold on it you have;
tangled me as a fisherman tangles a fish.
A net...
you cast has caught me
forever...
I will cherish that day
when you pulled me in from the sea.

Recently (while traveling) I read in a magazine about a boarding school that specialized in "troubled girls" it's not like a scaled down juvie- the residents attend daily therapy and coaching sessions, and must earn all privilages- even going for a walk alone.

The story I read was about a teen who sounds a lot like your daughter- the parents put her there b/c they did not want to take her out of school but, they (and she) needed help. Now the girl is attending community college (after graduating) and says that going to the school was hard at first, but it saved her life and by the time she graduated she was sorry to see it leave.

I wish I knew the name but, I'm sure if you look it up you'll be able to find it.

Good luck.

P.S. I never went to jail- but I put my mother through hell, I really had to grow out of it. But, all I really wanted was to stop getting in trouble and for one day my mom to say, "it's ok, I love you, lets go hang out." But, of course I was always in trouble so mom was always mad.

That's just my story.

I hope everything turns out well.

Thoughts of a Desecrated Woman

Pots and Pans desecrate the sounds of love, and the way they glow takes my breath away. And, the clank clank when spoons bang against empty plates, makes a good woman cry. Shallow tongues lap at the luxuries around them, and like dogs they flee to a smaller place. To hide is to die, and to die is to hide away from the ever-growing light shining into your eyes. To see the end is the light. Should the wives and the mothers change the tune coming from their heads, then the sounds of love will continue to diminish, and the clank clank will cease, and the tongues that speak the words will be cut. The music and the show must play on, even if there is no end in sight.



------------
this is not in standard form- it's more "free form"
basically, I don't really care lol
But I wanna know if you do!