lol I thought it was gross too but it made me go >.< eww lol

An English man and a Pole (polish man) are crossing the Sahara when their camel falls ill. It becomes obvious that the animal desperately needs water, but when they finally reach an oasis, the camel refuses to drink. The two men try every eaythey can think of to get it to drink, but to no avail. Finally the Pole says, "Listen, I've got an idea. You stick it's head in the water and I'll suck on his a s s hole, and we'll use him as a straw."
A few minutes later the Pole says to the Englishman, "Could you lift his head up a bit? I'm only getting mud from the bottom."

I have plenty more! I'm going to put more up, I have another one up too, the which body part goes into heaven first.

For decades two heroic bronze statues, one male and one female, faced each other in a city park, until one day and angel came down from heaven. "You've been such exemplary statues," he announced to them, "that I am going to give you a special gift. I'm going to bring you both to life for thrity minutes, in which you can do anything you want to." And with a clap of his hands, the angel brought the statues to life

The two approached each other a bit shyly but soon dashed for the bushes, from which shortly emerged a good deal of giggling, laughter, and shaking of branches. Fifteen minutes later the two statues emerged from the bushes, wide grins on their faces.

"You still have fifteen minutes," said the angel, winking conspiratorially.

Grinning even more widely, the female statue turned to the male statue and said, "Great! Only this time you hold the pigeon down, and I'LL sh it on its head

glad you guys liked it, I have an entire book full :P

"The question for today, boys and girls," said Sister Mary, "is, 'What part of the body goes to heaven first?'"
Dirty Eddie was in the front row waving his hand wildly, but since his answers were usually unsatisfactory, Sister Mary refrained from calling on him. "Yes, Veronica?"
"The heart, Sister Mary, because that's where God's love touches you."
"Very Good," said Sister Mary. "Yes, Marilyn?"
"The soul, Sister Mary, because that's the immortal part of us."
"Very good, Marilyn," said Sister Mary, observing with dismay that Dirty Eddie's hand was still waving. "Yes, Eddie?"
"The feet, Sister Mary, the feet!"
"Well, that's a curious answer, Eddie. Why the feet?"
"Because I've seen ma with her feet up in the air, shouting, 'I'm coming, God! I'm coming!"

lol yeah right, how can you have kids when you don't have a bf and never have sex?

lol yippee not very exciting well if I do die at 22 I want to have kids by then lol. and drinking, I have never drank before so it should be fun :P

What?!?!?! I don't want to die at 22!!!

lol is she blonde by any chance?

on the persons page there is a line of buttons it says Im this user click it and then talk :P that good?

mow the lawn

lol I'm bored too!

well if he's cute you should charge 500 bucks

lol oh god the perfect man part is not true btw I have found the perfect man :P

well you aren't ugly that's for sure, maybe you are just talking to the wrong kinds of girls *shrugs* just keep trying!I answer everyone who writes me, but maybe that makes ME an outcast lol

haha wow sooooo true, I could use some ibuprofen right now :( lol

lol there you go

No wonder they always seemed like Extraterrestrials! hahahhahahah *choke choke* that was awesome! thanks

oh noes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahaha