Thank you soo much John! Your words always enlighten me with a very very different view! Thank you!

Thank you soo much John! Your words always enlighten me with a very very different view! Thank you!

Thank you all for your support. I have some things to tend to. I will check this later.

Mwah

There is nothing wrong with that at all. Every person has their own boundaries/wants/needs. What makes you comfortable is not necessarily what will make someone else happy. To the core, I do not want these things for myself or want hardship in any way. It is not something that I dreamed of by far. But the fact of the matter is. That regardless of his illness. He possesses qualities that the common person does not. He is incredibly smart, loyal to the core and would absolutely give me the world if it was attainable. We have a bond and a love that most would envy. But every situation has its flaws. Nothing is absolutely perfect in every way. It is just a matter of whether our bond and undying love and affection for each other is more important than the potential hardships that I might face in being with him. A pros and cons list is definitely going to come into play in this situation.

Very good point. She might misinterpret his actions when he is not well. That could be very harmful to her security and relationships with men in the future. God, being a single parent is not very easy. You can no longer make decisions for yourself and what makes you happy. I wouldn't trade my child for the world, but god is this tough.

NO! He did not hide these issues from me in any way. He told me about them about a few months after we got involved and established. I do believe in boundaries and trust. This is not the kind of thing that you expose on a first or second date, hehe. But he was very open and honest about the whole thing. I did not see it as much of an issue until he became symptomatic. It did affect our relationship a bit and we stopped seeing each other for awhile. We have been dating on and off for about a year now. I have known him for much longer. But he was more of an acquaintance before we were dating. We have become very very closely knit in the past year.

He has yes been impatient for about a few days. He just tends to isolate himself from others when he is doing poorly. He does not act out anything weird. Just seems to be a bit reclusive when he is not doing well. As for treatment. Yes he has gone a long time without meds, but is currently making the right choices. He wants to seek long term care and is in a program with counseling and psychiatric help. He is making choices based on his future and being healthy. I think that in talking to all of you and truly listening, I have decided to limit my daughters interaction at this point. I think I need to closely observe his personality type and how he deals with these things. I cannot risk her being hurt. Not that I feel he would physically harm her in any way. He is not that type. But, I do not want her getting emotionally attached and then have to break it off.

Think like me how? What makes for an unhealthy relationship? A person with an illness cannot have a good relationship and strong bonds with people? I am just trying to get a good feel for what you are saying. Not trying to bait. I just want to understand. Are life experiences that which dictate how ALL people with an illness truly are? Do you feel that people are textbook something or other? Do you feel that you can put all people within a box and sum them up according to what there diagnosis is?

She will be five next month! And absolutely the light of my life! That is the issue altogether!! If I did not have her as my first priority, I would not even be worrying about it. He is absolutely wonderful with her. A kind and gentle man. She adores him. It just worries my family that he might not be the choice role model for her. They are telling me that I want to find someone absolutely perfect for her. My issue is that there are plenty of very very successful people in this world that suffer from different kinds of mental illnesses. It of course is a struggle, but if the person works at it I do not believe it is impossible to still be a good parent and role model if you have issues.

This is very true! But I do take my relationships very seriously. Whether it be a friendship, family, or relationship I am extremely loyal and dedicated to those that I love. Your best trait I guess can be your worst flaw.

http://mingle2.com/topic/show/219635

This is the exact problem I am facing right now!!!!! Heart or mind? Repercussions for the things that you choose can sometimes be devastating. I always try to be true to my heart and do what I feel is the best. But is being true to your heart letting it guide you. Or protecting it to the death?

He is actively seeking out professional help and to be honest, I am very educated in his diagnosis. I am by far not a psychiatrist. But I have family that is in the same boat as him. I also worked in the medical field with the mentally ill for three years, before I was laid off. He is taking the steps he needs to, in order to be healthy. He is not dangerous. Nor an alcoholic or an abuser of any sort. He suffers mostly from social issues when he is sick. I do know that this in return will mean some work on my end. Some real dedication in educating myself and making sure that he is on top of these things. Knowing that you might need to take care of someone at certain points is not something to be envied by any means. But once again, what if your partner loses a limb in an accident? Should you selfishly leave and not take care of them? What is the difference really? It is mental instead of physical. I am not trying to be closed minded and not open to what people are saying. I am just a very compassionate and loyal person. I fight to the death for someone that I love. I guess I just am trying to understand everyone's views on this issue and make and educated and logical decision.

I made him a part of my life prior to knowing about these issues. I already have an emotional bond with this man. I did not know about it prior. I do not want to leave him when he is at his worst. It has nothing to do with looking for someone who has issues or low self esteem. I actually am quite good in that area. It just so happens that I found out after the fact that he does. He was fine in the beginning and now he has developed an illness. I try to avoid these things at all costs normally. But is it right when things are already established to leave someone? It's like what would happen, if you are married, have a baby and suffer from depression after? Should your husband leave you? That is my point. I would be seeking out counseling, to be honest. But, I am out of a job and cannot afford to pay out of pocket. I'm sorry I was harsh in my response. But I do not feel I am crazy for questioning what is the right thing to do, before just bolting. Some people I feel are not very compassionate in these things. I know that it is healthy to have boundaries. But sometimes I feel that looking out for only you, can lead to a very very lonely life

That might be the best thing. Thanks for the advice everybody! It is just really hard when you love someone truly and want to be with them.

I am soo not crazy and do not need to seek medical help. What has happened to society in having a tiny bit of apathy?

I always do what is best for my child. I just don't know whether they are right. A lot of people that have issues are excellent parents. Sometimes life experience and hardship makes a person wiser and a better role model for instance. I am not a judgmental person at all. I think that is what scares them. He has done nothing but warrant my trust as of yet. Is taking the risk wrong when you love someone?

That is the thing. He has never done anything to either of us. He has done nothing but be supportive and kind and sweet. My parents fear that I will not have the support I need as a parent. An equal to help me out when things get tough for me as well. They are afraid that his issues will interfere with him being a partner in raising my child. I however love him very much and am having a hard time seeing their views. I know that they want what is best for me and my child. But, I just wasn't sure if I was letting my heart get in the way of what is best for both of us.

I really need some unbiased opinions. I am head over heels in love with a man. He has some issues. Serious ones, that I will not disclose, being as it is a public forum. But anyway, my family is saying that I should not get involved. That I should want the absolute best for my child. I personally believe that every person at some point in their lives has some sort of baggage/problems to deal with. He is dealing with things in a healthy manner and seeking help/medication for these issues. How much does logic play in when you love someone? Should love be enough to make you stay if the person hasn't done anything to warrant you leaving? Or should you always use your head and bolt when serious personal issues arise?

<<<<<-----Motha of all boootay, right here! lol