i feel for you, i know exactly what you are going through. my husband passed away very sudden a year and a half ago. he was the love of my live. i am still struggling with the what ifs, and if onlys. my dad passed away in feb and i feel as if i havent even grieved him since i am still grieving for my husband. all i can tell you is to continue to pray everyday for God to give you the courage and the strength to accept what cannot be changed and to give you the desire to keep on living. i do believe in life after death. it brings me comfort to know that they are both in a better place, together yet still in spirit with me. i believe they are watching over me and my family and all the good things that will come into my life they have a hand in. i know that when my life on this earth is over i will be reunited with them again never to be seperated from them again. i will pray for you, take it one day at a time, don't think too much about the future as it is too overwhelming. now is the time to turn your life over into God's hand and make it a daily habit to pray and know that God is in complete control.May God bless you!