we talked on the phone for an hour and a half yesterday....and i explained to her everythng....how i got it...and thats what she told me...she needed time and space....for now....

should i now just wait?

im in nmy office i tears cause i truly want to go ge ther...and pulll her close and tell her how sorry i am...but is it the right thing to do?

especially when she is tellin me she needs time and space??/

im so mind ****ed now, not knowing what to do.....

everyone is telling me to go get her.....what about every web site dealing with relationship issues....they all tell me to give her space and time...

she tells me she needs space and somwe time to thini things thru now...weve been talking, and she knows i made a mistake now, and she said she needs some time and soace...should i still go to her? is if she tells me she needs time and space??

here it goes guys, I havent posted on here in a while....found someone off of POF and actually got married to them! Now we are seperated since about 2 1/2 weeks ago...heres the story...

I and my wife met off of POF...we hit it off, she was from Chesapeake Va, IM from Richmond....she moved here with me, and like 3 months latr we where getting married! I know fast...fast...

relationship was awesome..i mean awesome! Could have never asked for a better woman....

she had 2 teenage kids, both lived with there dad in GA....both ended up wanting to come live with us, which I encouraged and was all for!

Thing was, I am pretty successful, make like $98,000 a year from my full time, and run an online bizz and starting up an organization, and have a 2 year old lil girl....and still in school..12 credits from Masters....but my Wife...she had no education, no job, no car, nothing when we met...

I knew all of that and accepted her for her because I loved her and knew the woman she was on the inside.

Constantly thru the relationship, I encouraged her to further her education, ect...especially after her kids come to live with us, because she had no means of supporting them, and there dad refused to send them any child support.

After a while money started becoming an issue....even with what I make, im not rich, and 2 teenage kids, plus a toddler and a wife and myself....money started getting tight especially with the recession.

I started asking her more and more about tryin to get a PT job, or furthering her education, and she agreed and wanted to....but was very slow about things...kinda a procrasinator...byt my love never changed or her...but my stress levels where going high because of all going on....

Because I was doing so much and I felt she was doing so little, my stress levels got overwhelming...and i think i made a huge mistake....

I told her 2 1/2 weeks ago i thought she needed to move back to her moms for the rest of the school year and get herself together as far as job and education....

then we would get back together and id move closer to her family. in june 09. I acted too fast....too stressed out...and now wish i would have never done that....

we got into a huge argument a week into her being back at her moms....and since then its been screwed up...

i let my stress levels get back down and ive realized, it wasnt all her fault...i was trying to do too much and alot of my stress i blamed on her and her 2 kids...i still love her very much....and she tells me she loves me too...but she tells me she feels i abandoned her....

And she needs time and space to figure out things, cause ive told her i want to try and work it out and save our marriage....i love her very much....and miss her and the kids so much, and my lil girl loves her so much and misses her too i cans ee it..she asks for her every day!

im a huge ball of emotion, wondering what to do....i married her for who she was...and then i turned back on who i was...andlet money and stress eat at me until i pushed her away.....

she says she still loves me, but needs time and space....but im so scared ive lost her for good....someone help me...

im a man with a broken heart....wondering if i lost the only family ive ever knows...i grew up rough and have no other family....

I feel i failed her and with the world like it is now ....i should have taken a break and thought before asking her to leave.....

help me

--Broken in VA

Tell the new guy what is going on. Tell him that you still have an unclosed chapter from a previous relationship. If he truly cares, he will wait to you figure things out.

I understand this situation, i recently split with my ex, we where together two years, and have a beautiful 1 year old daughter together.

I will always care for this woman, she is the mother of my only child. I have started dating, but everyone I have dated, I have been honest with them and told them about my childs mother, and that I still had feelings for her, and that I would always have some kind of feelings there. People seem to be alot more understanding with these situations if you explain, and become totally honest.

I havent found my match yet on here....but havent really had any in depth conversations with anyone to decide...

Well, Im at the point Im not looking anymore for anything but friends, if there becomes a spark with someone i meet then I will go with it then...but looking to me, only has put me in a position to take someone before I truly know them and it never works out, Ive decided to not look, just let things happen and then maybe something good can come out of it...Thank you...

I do truly believe that actions speak so much louder than words....You can say you love someone but treat them like crap.....When you say something and back itup with actions thats what makes poeple true believers...well thats my opinion

Wow....thanks for the points, but I was being serious...and a grandma..! Wow....Well, Im 29 and I hope I eventually end up with a woman that looks that good at 45, 46 yrs old....

Wow, I just finished looking at ur pics....and ur 45? You cant be! You look way too good to be 45!

Wow....this discussion got heated....gettin a girls number...I just be myself, if I get it cool, if not, then it wasnt meant to be, I move on...no need to play there.....just go after it like I know its mine, if i dont get it, then move on...

Thank you hun...and u are a hottie....Give me some advice on getting with you then!

Ok, what should I do to get responces from chicks on this site? lol...

What chick was saying she was fat? If its the first posting, what is she thinking? She is far from fat, overweight or anything that I can tell...

Ive got a great example for you. I personally dated someone for two years, we had a child together after a one night stand, so I did right thing and took her in and tried to make relationship work.

Before We recently split up, I cheated on her a few times. Reason? Because we had grown so far apart, our sexual relationship had come to a Army Routine , we argued alot, so getting turned on by someone u are always arguing with wasnt happening either.

I was lacking something I wanted in that relationship. For the first two years, I never even thought about cheating on her, or being with another woman. After things changed so bad at home, I started thinking about it, especially after i started going out without her, and women started hitting on me like crazy....

But honestly, All men are not Dogs...and call me one if you want, but I was Faithful for over 2 years, physically and Mentally. But when your woman will swallow, and be really passionate in bed when you first meet her, then after only a few months wont do any of it again...you kinda wonder, was she just doing all that stuff in the beggining to lock me in, then once she knew she had me cause she was pregnant she stopped and changed.

To me a Physical Attraction to a person is what gets me wanting to talk to them, and that lasts up until we actually conversate.

Once we are communication, the actual physical looks arent important to me anymore, its about the personality, and of course some kind of vibe...

If you met someone online...and talked to them for a long time..you think they are Mr./Mrs/ Perfect.....then u meet them, spend some time with them,....you two are falling in love.....but u 2 live 300 miles away from each other...

what would u do? Move? Let the love pass u by? Or try to make the Long distanc ething work? but for how long?

yea, i agree. Long Distance relationships have never worked for me. Im the kinda guy that actually wants to meet someone and look them in the eyes before I make a true decision if I really like them.

I have met and started to care for a few women Ive met online, but because of the distance thing I knew it wouldnt go any further.

But I have seen some guys saying they would travel for the right woman....what about that?

I see a few men on these forums that are looking for the possibilities of a serious relationship. I see ladies always wondering why they cannot find the right good man that is looking for a serious relationship.

Why are these guys still single? They are looking for what most women say they are looking for.

Please explain ladies...Im curious myself....

Probably not....Every man would probably like to thuink he is....even though people should show there true side from the get go...who really does? Most people show all the good till a while down the road then the changes happen....

well every relationship Ive been in seems to go that way...