hey lynn ....dint i tell ya all ...
I LOVE U ALL

thanx big guy ...ill stick around

luv ya all

M

well ...there was no reciprocation ........guess i better leave

bye pple

bye Monica

damn ....god knows what alcohol does to me .....

damnit ...takes my senses away ...

Monica are u listening ......hope u r ...

I LOVE YA ...........

now lemme c u walk away .......

people ...lemme make a formal announcement .....

with all ur permission ofcourse .......

can i ???

whats wrong Monica ???

tell me .....

hey ccp...waz up ...

hio thumpers ...nice artwork ..i mean the corpsepaint ....

hio pple

damn ....thats a good one ......

Why I fired my secretary . . .

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well

waking up that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast

hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,

"Happy Birthday!", and possibly have a present for me.

As it turned out, she barely said good morning,

let alone "Happy Birthday." I thought... Well,

that's marriage for you, but the kids will remember.

My kids came in to breakfast and didn't say a word.

So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and

somewhat despondent. As I walked into my office,

my secretary Jane said, "Good Morning Boss,

Happy Birthday!" It felt a little better that at least

someone had remembered. I worked until one o'clock

and then Jane knocked on my door and said, "You know,

it's such a beautiful day outside, and it's your birthday,

let's go to lunch, just you and me - my treat!" I said,

"Thanks Jane, that's the nicest thing I've heard all day.

We went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally

would go. We dined instead at a little place with a

private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed

the meal tremendously. On the way back to the office,

Jane said, "You know, it's late in the day and it's so

beautiful out... we don't really need to go back to

the office, do we?" I responded, "I guess not.

What'd you have in mind?" She said, "Let's go to my place."

After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said,

"Make yourself comfortable Boss... if you don't mind,

I'm going to step into the bedroom for a moment but

I'll be right back". "Okay" I said, rather nervously,

"I'll be right here, waiting for you". She went into the

bedroom and after a couple of minutes, she came out

carrying a huge birthday cake... followed by my wife

and kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers,

all wearing party hats, singing "Happy Birthday" to me...

And I was so shocked, I didn't know what to do,

So I just sat there...

on the couch...

completely naked.

A little kid gets on a city bus and sits right behind the driver and starts yelling, ''If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow I'd be a little bull.''

The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid, who continues with, ''If my dad was an elephant and my mom a girl elephant I would be a little elephant.''

The kid goes on with several animals until the bus driver gets angry and yells at the kid,

''What if your dad was a drunk and your mom was a prostitute?!''

The kid smiles and says, ''I would be a bus driver!''

A Husband wrote the following letter for his Wife and left it on the
dining room table:

To My Dear Wife,

You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being
54 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you and I
value you as a good Wife. Therefore, after reading this letter, I
hope that you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be
spending the evening with my 18 year old secretary at the Comfort Inn
Hotel.

Please don't be upset - I shall be home before midnight.

When the man came home late that night, he found the following
letter on the dining room table:

My Dear Husband,

I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being
54 years old. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you
that you are also 54 years old. As you know, I am a math teacher at
our local college. I would like to inform you that while you read
this, I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael, one of my
students, who is also the assistant tennis coach. He is young,
virile, and like your secretary, is
18 years old. As a successful businessman who has an excellent
knowledge of math, you will understand that we are in the same
situation, although with one small difference: 18 goes into 54 a lot
more times than 54 goes into 18!!!

Therefore, I will not be home until sometime tomorrow!

thank u one ..thank u all

damn i wish i had elvises voice

A young man moved into a new flat of his own and went to the lobby to
put his name on his mailbox.

While there, an attractive young lady came out of the flat next to the
mailboxes, wearing a robe.

The boy smiled at the young woman and she started a conversation with
him.

As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had
nothing else on.

The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact.

After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said, "Let's go
to my apartment, I hear someone coming."

He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned
against it, allowing her robe to fall off completely.

Now nude, she purred at him, "What would you say is my best feature?"

Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, "It's got to be your
ears."

Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, "My ears? Look at these breasts;
they are full and 100% natural. I work out every day and my butt is firm
and solid. Look at my skin - no blemishes anywhere. How can you think
that the best part of my body is my ears?"

Clearing his throat, he stammered.... "Outside, when you said you heard
someone coming.... that was me."

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what's your problem?"

Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!"

Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principals office.

While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.

Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"

Harry: "9."


Principal: " What is 6 x 6?"

Harry: "36."

And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.

The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade."

Ms. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions."

The principal and Harry both agreed.

Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"

Harry, after a moment: "Legs."

Ms. Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"

The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!

Harry replied: "Pockets."

Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps in to?"

Harry: "Pants."

Ms. Brooks: What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?"

Harry: "Coconut."

The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.

Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"

The principals eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, "Bubble gum."

Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?"

Harry: "Shake hands."

The principal was trembling.

Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?"

Harry: "Firetruck."

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry in Yale , I got the last seven questions wrong......

imagine this ......
ur in a class giving a lecture all of a sudden u notice ur stark naked ......and all the students are laughin and throwin chalks at ya .....

one of my worst nightmares...

hello pple.....
whats up .....

damn ....what a silly topic
im outta here

Two guys and a girl were sitting at a bar talking about their lives.

The one guy said, "I'm a YUPPIE. You know, Young Urban Professional."

The second guy responded, "I'm a DINK. You know, Double Income No Kids."

They then asked the woman, "What are you?"
She replied: "I'm a WIFE. You know, Wash, Iron, ****, Etc."

i jus knew a blonde wud reply back.......