Hanged is in trouble ....... hanged is in trouble

with a pluck pluck here and a pluck pluck there, here a pluck there a pluck everywhere a pluck pluck........

I am old fashioned

Just a little

Hello Hanged, Snuggles and Ella what is going on?

Deep in the back woods of Lechter County Kentucky, a hillbilly's wife went into labor in the middle of the night and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery. Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said, "Here. You hold this high so I can see what I'm doing."

Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world. "Whoa there," said the doctor, "don't be in such a rush to put that lantern down. I think there's another one coming."

Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a baby girl. "Hold that lantern up, don't set it down. There's another one!" Said the doctor.

Within a few minutes he had delivered a third baby. "No, don't be in a hurry to put that lantern down. It seems there's yet another one coming," cried the doctor.

The redneck scratched his head in bewilderment and asked the doctor,...

"You reckon it might be the light that's attractin' 'em?"

There isn't one dirty word in it, and it is funny.

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a
surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was
to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm off
now. The man should be here soon."

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer
happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning,
Ma'am", he said, "I've come to..."

"Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, "I've been
expecting you."

"Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well, that's good. Did you
know babies are my specialty?"

"Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a
seat".

After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"

"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the
couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room
floor is fun. You can really spread out there."

"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and
me!"

"Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we
try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles,
I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."

"My, that's a lot!", gasped Mrs. Smith.

"Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be
in and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that."

"Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly.

The pho tographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of
his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus," he said.

"Oh, my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.
"And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider
their mother was so difficult to work with."

"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.
"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the
job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a
good look."

"Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.

"Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more than three hours, too.
The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly
concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots.
Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had
to pack it all in."

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they actually chewed on your,
uh...equipment?"

"It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod
and we can get to work right away."

"Tripod?"

"Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much
too big to be held in the hand very long."
Mrs. Smith fainted.............

>
> TRIP TO WAL-MART
>
> You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house.
Mowing
> The lawn, putting a new fence in, painting the living room, or
whatever.
> You are hot and sweaty. Covered in dirt or paint. You have your old

> work
> Clothes on. You know the outfit, shorts with the hole in crotch, old
> T-shirt with a stain from who knows what, and an old pair of tennis
> shoes.
>
> Right in the middle of this great home improvement project you
realize
> you
> Need to run to Wal-Mart to get something to help complete the job.
>
> Depending on your age you might do the following:
>
> In your 20's:
>
> Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair,
brush
> Your teeth, floss, and put on clean clothes. Check yourself in the
> mirror
> And flex. Add a dab of your favorite cologne because you never know,

> you
> Just might meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout lane.
You
> Went to school with the pretty girl running the register.
>
> In your 30's:
>
> Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt. Change
shoes.
> You married the hot chick so no need for much else. Wash your hands
and
> Comb your hair. Check yourself in the mirror. Still got it. Add a
shot
> Of your favorite cologne to cover the smell. The cute girl running
the
> Register is the kid sister to someone you went to school with.
>
> In your 40's:
>
> Stop what you are doing. Put a sweatshirt that is long enough to
cover
> The hole in the crotch of your shorts. Put on different shoes and a
> hat.
> Wash your hands. Your bottle of Brute Cologne is almost empty so you
> Don't want to waste any of it on a trip to Wal-Mart. Check yourself
in
> the
> Mirror and do more sucking in than flexing. The spicy young thing
> running
> The register is your daughter's age and you feel weird thinking she
is
> Spicy.
>
> In your 50's:
>
> Stop what you are doing. Put a hat on, wipe the dirt off your hands
> onto
> Your shirt. Change shoes because you don't want to get dirt in your
new
> Sports car. Check yourself in the mirror and you swear not to wear
that
> Shirt anymore because it makes you look fat. The Cutie running the
> Register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you still have

> it.
> Then you remember the hat you have on is from your buddy's bait shop
and
> It says, "I Got Worms ".
>
> In your 60's:
>
> Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore. Hose off the
dog
> Crap off your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in your
> 50's.
> You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in your
> Pants. The girl running the register may be cute but you don't have
> your
> Glasses on so you are not sure.
>
> In your 70's:
>
> Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Wal-Mart until they have your
> Prescriptions ready too. Don't' even notice the dog crap on your
shoes.
> The young thing at the register smiles at you because you remind her
of
> Her grandfather.
>
> In your 80's:
>
> Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now you
> remember
> That you needed to go to Wal-Mart. Go to Wal-Mart and wonder around
> Trying to think what it is you are looking for. Fart out loud and
you
> Think someone called out your name. The old lady that greeted you at

> the
> Front door went to school with you.

Hey snuggs I am sorry I didnt get a chance to talk with you I am not having a good night .........

Tomarrow is another day........

I hope

no..........

no

sorry to all I am in the middle of a crisis

is she putting her thong on?

Ella is pole dancing??????

Sorry guys I am in the middle of a small crisis here. BRB

I will have a beer ...... it's a dog eat dog world and I am wering milk bone underwear.......

how is everyone doing this evening......