I apologize. I didn't know we were supposed to only write things you wanted to hear. Okay, the boyfriend should be catered to, your mother is probably old and not enough to do so she's being unreasonable and your daughter...oh, she'll get over all of this.

This particular situation tends to point up the problem that living together and having a kid will present for single parents. The people in power will tend to favor the more traditional parent and or Grandparent.

The biggest looser in the situation is still usually the grandchild because they loose their Mother or their Grandparent in custody fights.

So weather Mom went along with the kindness of Grandma helping with the idea of the move, which doesn't necessarily make her the bad person either, by taking physical custody she is now at a decided disadvantage if Grandma decides to not go along with the current plan.

I hope this mother takes her gut instinct that her Mother is going to be upset and thinks through her future decisions and ALL the possible consequences.

The song or my advice?

You're very welcome. I have been on both sides of this proverbial coin. I hurt my parents with bad decisions..and I get hurt by decisions my children make. That's life. But I also do what I think is right. I quit my very good paying, stable job a couple of years ago to go back to college. Mom was NOT happy!! She is now because it was the right decision for me. All she ever really wants is for you to be happy. Trust me on this.

As for Dad...if you love him and he loves you, you should get married. It's not about having the perfect wedding...it's about providing a stable committed relationship to raise your child in. If you two love each other, having roses in the aisles, salmon at the reception or a honeymoon in Hawaii isn't important. Saying I do is. What I'm saying is, if it's important to you both (which in my humble opinion it should be) than money shouldn't be an excuse. You're still just as committed and married if a justice of the peace performs the ceremony. Maybe it's not the fairy tale wedding you hoped for as a little girl, but you're not a little girl anymore, evidenced by your desire to live your own life now. So get to it girl!!

And the song really is perfect for this situation.

why do you like it?

I apologize. I didn't know we were supposed to only write things you wanted to hear. Okay, the boyfriend should be catered to, your mother is probably old and not enough to do so she's being unreasonable and your daughter...oh, she'll get over all of this.

You don't have time to listen to a song! Your family in Florida could very well be planning to get custody of your daughter due to a flibbertyjibbit mother who is teeter-tottering between a man and being with her daughter!

You talked about marriage but didn't have the funds to do it the way you wanted? What was that, a big frilly wedding with the white dress and everything traditional and proper? Paleeeze! I throw my hands up in the air.

You Ex has a right to want to stay where he has work and does not have to endure the constant dislike of a Grandmother and Mother in law but if your Mom is the good mother you say then I don't understand why he can't find and equally good job in Florida and stick with the plan you committed to. YOu have to decide if you were manipulated into letting Grandma spoil your daughter but that sounds like a poor routine to get into. If she is going to dominate your relationships that may be a real good reason not to set off conflict when you are not there to defend your parental custody. Get to Florida and act like a responsible parent and adult daughter by talking face to face.

read thew whole post. she sent the kid ahead for a plan to move there at the expense of granny........... she dotn care about the kid she cares about what is in TN.

As both a mother and a daughter, you can't. She is going to be hurt. She will also still love you no matter what so you have to do what you have to do. You're obviously old enough to be a mommy and make your own decisions that are best for you and your daughter. All you can really do is tell her it's your life, they are your mistakes to make (if staying is one), and hope she supports you in your decision. If she doesn't, so be it. Live your life. While the desire to please our parents seems to linger well into adulthood, growing up means making decisions not based on what your parents want, but on what you think is best for you (and your child!!)

Listen to the song Second Chances.
Thanks think that's exactly what I needed to hear.

Good luck.

im neither a mother or a father but i know one thing you need to do what u think is right , 1st nothing you can tell your mom about this situation is going to make her not upset at you inless its im still moving. second if you have known him for 9 years and go out for 4 and have a child and you recently split for what ever reason you have to look at the obvious facts if it was worse enough to hence move to FL then its probly not a good idea to get back with that person just my opinion