I build up this fantasyland of these fairytale men and the only thing that brings that back into reality is friend zoning them before any relationship - it’s my protection.

It’s not going to work for everyone. I’m a Gemini - so require friendship to observe people first before I allow people into my life. Trust issues. Remember their rejection is your protection. It just wasn’t meant to be.

I look at everything as a life lesson and move on. Maybe my cold black heart is getting hardened by Mingle or Widowhood will do that. 🫣

Dwelling on the past can be part of healing. Just depends how long you keep doing that. At some point you should notice you're doing that less and less and begin to focus more on the now and the future. Begin to feel happier, hopeful etc.
But often in the earlier stages of the process people look at what happened in order to digest. That's part of the process of letting go, of mourning what no longer is and sometimes what never was which then is also a form of loss.
Just make sure you don't linger in the past for months, years on end.
If you notice your focal point beginning to shift more and more to the now & future and happier things you know you're on the right track :)

Fantasy's are just that, something one wants to be real but never was..

At times one has to come out of their dream world, and face the world as it is..

I find it pretty much easy to forget the bad stuff , but sometimes I drink to remember .. Just as well I gave up the drinking part !!!!

If you're referring to this illusion of a relationship you had/have... then it's not so much about forgetting that but leaving it behind and healing from it.
With that you don't necessarily forget, but the pain goes away and it becomes more of a vague memory.
That is IF you heal from it. If you latch on to it the pain will remain because you refuse to let go of it and then it will stay fresh in your mind as well. Your version of it that is, not necessarily what truly happened.
That's why many become bitter, depressed even, and claim to still love an ex even 20 yrs later which is simply impossible. Or they keep whinging and whining about an ex that they feel hurt them.
So it can go in 2 directions, depending on whether you let go and heal, or not.
Always a choice, although many fail to see that and think they have no choice and no control.

I am 74 and have not forgotten anything.
Yet.

Fantasy and reality become well-defined.

Regardless of knowing the whole story, you only need to know your true feelings of being lied and cheated on, and treat that person who did that to you accordingly. It is better to find out his true colours now than after you have a few children and married the guy. All those friends that knew what was going on deserve the same fate as they cared nothing about your well being either. Time to clean house and start fresh with a new outlook on life, be happy

Huh
So you was that person spying an feeding my 3rd GF...... that's why i was thinking, since when she started using her brain...

First of all, get a good profile photo, which is one of your face, and if at all possible with a smile.

Trying to pose as a model in 1 or 2 photos is fine, doing that in 9 out of 12 photos is boring.
You can't even really see you in 'em, just a vague person in the background.

When you got that sorted, work on a good write up.
Not sure what this is about --> " i can be the kindest person you'd ever meet here lol (id like to think and I try to)."
Are you a people-pleaser??


And this ---> "I'll tell more about me." When is that going to happen? Do it now and get working on a good write up!

As it is, not a good profile.
If you get attention with it it's quite likely the type you don't want...

YOU GIRLS !! Are very smart . You know everything but you want to get the Answer from US..!!

What if, have One "GF" which is equivalent to 5ive ��🤛