Thanks chris. Its much easier said than done though. I still struggle with it

I think I heard that statistic before and it is indeed very discouraging. :(

How I look at it is that I have little control over someone else in any context but especially in the context of a relationship or marriage.

Part of my life journey is learning to find most of my hapoiness and fulfilment in myself rather than placing that burden on a partner or someone else.

All I can do is focus on and work on being the best person and partner I can be, and hope for the best . The rest is out of my hands.

I think I heard that statistic before and it is indeed very discouraging. :(

How I look at it is that I have little control over someoneone else in any context but especially in the context of a relationship or marriage.

All I can do is focus on and work on being the best person and partner I can be, and hope for the best . The rest is out of my hands

It would definitely be someone I was romantically interested in

Those are some discouraging statistics Duttoneer but I agree with you that although marriage will be on the decline, it will survive in the future.

Whether its through genuine conviction or years of societal brainwashing, I think a large part of the population continues to view marriage as the ultimate symbol of commitment and base for family building.

And I also think that there is something in human nature that inclines us to believe that the worst will never happen to us regardless of all the victims who went before, which might explain why impirical records are often dismissed in the navigating of personal decisions.

You are doing great so far Tom! I really admire you for doing this, My brother is achain smoker and he hasconfided how hellish it is to quit. Wishing you success!

so excited that I felt compelled to write it twice lol!

Excited about 2018!

No one can take an effective plan of action for rebuilding/repairing in the midst of a storm.

Usually when I am in the scenario you describe, Im too close to my problem , too much in my head and cant see my situation with clarity.

So I start by distancing myself from everyone and everything for a weekend if I can, whether its at home, or by the beach. Some people take a road trip , a long drive or a quick flight to another location, or even go camping /fishing in the woods to get that distance.

After I get that distance, I usually embark on solving a smaller problem that requires a lot of concentration. It could be painting a room or re organising a drawer or purse or building /making sonething like a craft. For others it might be cooking a meal or fishing or tinkering with electronics , but concentrating on a small task usually helps to centre ny scattered thoughts and calm me.

After that Im usually in a better headspace to journal my thoughts / feelings and reflect on the bigger issue thats causing me stress and what I need to change in myself or environment to see the results I want, even if the change is to learn to acceotthe things I cant change like MsHarmony alluded to earlier.


But for me, I need to get troubling thoughts out of my head so it wont feel jumbled with all the other thoughts swirling around in my mind. And I do that by journaling or talking to someone I trust

No complaints on my side Pisces. Thank you Glad things are going well for you too :)




Blessings to you too SS

I hope 2018 is shaping up well for you so far Pisces

Thanks eric! And Im glad you enjoyed your birthday

A very belated Hppy birthday to you eric. Hope you had a blast!

A very belated but sincere happy new year to the mingle family!!!!May you get all that you hope for in 2018

Happy New Year SS

In a situation like that, I would give a heartfelt apology and ask the person if they need some space from me or if they would allow me to be there for them. Whatever they ask for, I would respect it and act accordingly

Merry christmas everyone! I hope everyone had a ball !

Very belated but sincere birthday wishes to you duttoneer. I hope te day was worthy of you and merry christmas to you too !

I never thought of "loving" and "being in love " as mutually exclusive. I was in a 10 year relationship where I loved AND was in love with my partner for the time we were together.

I just didn't feel the warm fuzzy feeling everyday or even every week , but I felt it more times in the relationship than I didn't .

Loving and being in love can be integrated in my opinion

Hi crystal :)


Even if you love your mate , as in you yearn to share your life with them alone, it doesnt mean you wont go though days or even weeks of disliking them or not being in love with them and vice versa. And its even possible to love and be in love with someone and still not last because priorities, values or personalities etc may not be meshing.

I personally dont even care if my mate says he loves me or is in love with me because people have very conflicting ideas of what both terms mean. Isn't it more important that both parties agree on how the other should be treated and the direction they both want the relationship to go?

I will be kissing my mom after she returns from church Tom :)