Community > Posts By > luc05kay06
Topic:
Living Together
Edited by
luc05kay06
on
Mon 05/25/09 09:02 PM
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It's all circumstantial. Ages, school/careers, children, income, type of relationship, etc. For some couples it may make sense to move in after a month and others it could be years. I have friends all over the spectrum. Two months. One year. Six years. Ten years. Having lived with a significant other (ex husband), I know how hard it can be. I'd want to test the waters and live together before remarrying.
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Topic:
i think i found him....
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I'd say patience and caution are two things which cannot be overlooked and overstated. You say you've "known" each other for four months. How can you really know anyone until you've met and spent a significant amount of time with each other? The mental and emotional bond that can develop through the written and spoken word is a powerful one. However, meeting face to face is much different. Even if this is the "the one," do not build up unrealistic expectations. People tend do that through this medium and it is the death of any potential relationship. Well said. |
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I was following until the last paragraph. That one didn't make any sense to me.
But all in all, I say to let it go. If it's meant to be, it'll happen eventually. No need for you to be focused on her if she isn't being focused on you.... You can remember her while living your life and dating others. |
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Topic:
How would you respond?
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If it was someone that I really cared for and was interested in, I'd probably say something along the lines of "and I hope to soon feel the same way about you" because it would be true. If it was someone that I wasn't even close to having those feelings for and knew that I never would, I would just say that I appreciate their honesty in sharing that with me, but that the feelings just weren't mutual.
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When you start to see the pattern that you're always giving more of yourself than they are. When it happens consistently, odds are that it won't ever change.
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Topic:
How Do You Forgive?
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I have read through the replies and I make note of the fact that, for the most part, men are less likely to forgive a woman for infidelity than women are to forgive men. My husband cheated on me less than one year into our marriage and to make matters worse, if that's possible, I was expecting our daughter. I don't think that there is any worse gut wrenching feeling. I chose to stay with my husband, although I never got over the pain of his cheating. One thing that he (husband) told me after his cheating was that if I ever cheated on him he would leave me. I never did cheat on him, not because of his threat but because of my vows and my beliefs/morals. My divorce attorney told me recently that he has been doing divorces for 20 years and many men see infidelity as a casual thing, when committed by a man, but when a woman cheats.....game on! I did not do anything in my marriage "to make" my husband cheat. Each person is responsible for their own actions, bottom line. Many people look for justification for things such as infidelity. In retrospect, I should have left a long time ago, but better late than never. That's essentially my story as well. |
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Topic:
How Do You Forgive?
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Even if you can convince yourself that you've forgiven him, you'll never forget it. It'll always be in the back of your mind. You'll always be curious, worried, and full of doubt. It's a lot quicker and easier to just end it and move on without him. At least that's been my experience with it.
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Topic:
Question, Help???
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First, I do think it is like in your "parents' days". People DO do a lot of dating to find the person they want to be with. You just have to make sure that the people you're dating are on the same page as you are. If you and whoever you're dating are all aware that you're not exclusive, and you're just dating, then it shouldn't be an issue. You don't necessarily need to have a talk about it (hello, awkward) but you can easily hint at it and just don't have "the talk" that makes you exclusive. Second, why are you calling this guy your boyfriend? He's not your boyfriend, he's your mooch. You said it yourself, he's a freeloader and if he's raped you then he's using you in more ways than one. He doesn't love you and likely never will. You're wasting your time and energy (and money it seems) on him. Quit cheating on him. Just dump him so you'll have the right to date others with no worries. I'm glad that that's what you seem to be doing, and I hope you have the strength to keep it up. Third, if that other guy has a girlfriend, don't waste your time (assuming you're interested in him). If/when he ends that relationship, then you two can get involved. But I'm sure the type of emotional relationship you're having with him right now is inappropriate and disrespectful to his relationship with his girlfriend, and to her alone. You'll find a new totally unattached guy who will treat you as great as you'll treat him. There's no rush :) |
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Topic:
In your own backyard
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I dont think so.......just because youve known this person all of your life doesnt mean you are compatible. It just means youve known each other a long time. But....having known this person for such a long time...you know what they are like. You have a pretty good idea what they believe. What they think about certain things. Their sense of humor. Basically, you don't have to go through the " feeling out " process involved in dating. If you had " lost touch " with them, then it would be a different situation. But even knowing all of that, doesn't guarantee an actual chemistry that would provide for a romantic relationship. |
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Honestly... I get out my mental little black book and hook up with someone hotter than the ex.
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Topic:
What is the enemy of love?
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Betrayal & or Selfishness? Agreed |
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When I was in my teens, I hated it. I thought it was for old men. Then I actually lost my virginity and started dating lol. I think it's sexy. I don't think a bare chest is unattractive at all, but I love a hairy one especially.
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Moaning
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