74Drew nope luv men but its the truth

~Nicknames~
If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose.

If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

~eating out ~
When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back.

When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

~Money~
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.

~Bathrooms~
A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.

The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

~Arguments~
A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

~Cats~
Women love cats.

Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

~Future~
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

~Success~
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

~Marriage~
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.

~Dressing Up~
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

~Natural~
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

~Offspring~
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

~Thought for the Day~
Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

-Author unknown

"It's a guy thing."
Really means...."There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

"Can I help with dinner?"
Really means...."Why isn't it already on the table?"

"Uh huh," "Sure, honey," or "Yes, dear."
Really means....Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

"It would take too long to explain."
Really means..."I have no idea how it works.

"We're going to be late."
Really means...."Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac."

"Take a break, honey, you're working too hard."
Really means...."I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"That's interesting, dear."
Really means...."Are you still talking?"

"It's a really good movie."
Really means...."It's got guns, knives, fast cars, and beautiful women."

"That's women's work."
Really means...."It's difficult, dirty, and thankless."

"You know how bad my memory is."
"Really means.... "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the Vehicle Identification Numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."

"I was just thinking about you, and got you these roses."
Really means.... "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."

"Oh, don't fuss. I just cut myself, it's no big deal."
Really means.... "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit I'm hurt."

"Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing."
Really means.... "...And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."

"I can't find it."
Really means.... "It didn't fall right into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

"What did I do this time?"
Really means.... "What did you catch me at?"

"I heard you."
Really means.... "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."

"You know I could never love anyone else."
Really means.... "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."

"You look terrific."
Really means.... "Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit. I'm starving."

"I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are."
Really means.... "No one will ever see us alive again."

"We share the housework."
Really means.... "I make the messes, she cleans them up."

Joe wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his Company's Christmas Party. He didn't even remember how he got home from the Party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong. Joe had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he saw is A couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, Next to them, a single red rose! Joe sits up and sees his clothing in Front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in
Perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes The aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of
The mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from His wife in lipstick: 'Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early To get groceries to make you your favourite dinner tonight. I love you,
Darling! Love, Jillian'

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast,
Steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the Table, eating. Joe asks: 'Son.... What happened last night?'
'Well, you came home after 3 A.M drunk and out of your mind. You fell Over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway,
And got that black eye when you ran into the door.'
'Confused, he asked his son, 'So, why is everything in such perfect
Order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table Waiting for me?'
His son replies, 'Oh THAT!.. Mom dragged You to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you Screamed, 'Leave me alone *****, I'm married!'

Broken Coffee Table
$239.99

Hot Breakfast
$4.20


Two Aspirin
$.38


Saying the right thing, at the
Right time......priceless!!

i wrote you back just didnt quote you what do you wanna know

and you prob. wont never really smiled in pics

ask and ill tell what do you want to know

what do you think about my profile

i have a 74 stingray vet hopefully by the end of summer i can have her ready to be painted that is if i can figure out what color to paint it

thought id introduce myself. im 27 married and lookin for friends and a girlfriend