Thank you all for your thoughts on this. First of all, NO he is not married, never was. He is not an addict or alcoholic, but yes all the "ISM"s are there. Since I grew up in an alocholic family, I do know all about the isms.They are the gifts that keep on giving your whole life. I am not the one that said anything about Us being in a relationship, he did, and as for the physical part, we were not there yet. I do see that he has a less mature attitude towards relationships, kinda of reminds me of the guys I knew back in my 20's. You know, the kind that they will see the girl only if all the other guys are too busy. Thanks again.

Santana---She's not there

This is my first post and I really need to just do this because if I keep it all inside my head it will drive my crazy. I met a nice guy online a little over 2 months ago. We would email each other, then it lead to the phone calls and then to meetings. I felt a click and thought that this could be something good. One night I asked him what he thought about us, because I didn't want to assume things that were not there, and he said he thought we were in the beginning of a relationship. Good, we are both looking at this the same way. Then the drama started, he would say that he would call and then nothing, if I called him, his phone was turned off. When I said something about that he claimed that he never turns his phone off. OK, I could have been wrong, but even little kids know that when a cell phone goes right to VM it is off. Now we both are older, around 50, and life is a bit busy for both of us, so getting time to be together is not easy. We would make plans to see each other, and in the beginning he would, but in the past few weeks it changed. He would say that he would see me and then he would not answer his phone, when I would try get a hold of him, it was always some excuse, true or not I can not say. One time he couldn't take the time to answer his phone or call and leave a message, but took the time to email me a message, what's with that? I did ask if he had changed his mind about us and his answer was NO he liked me and wanted to get to know me more. Now it is Christmas time and he planned to see me Christmas Eve, we would talk on the phone Wednesday night and he said I will see you tomorrow night. I made sure that things would be special, wrapped a few presents for him, placed sopme nice candles around the room, things like that. I had a annual party with my friends that I went to but left early so wI could see him. Called as I was on my way home, right to VM. I get home and there is a message from him that "something" came up and he would be there all night and maybe he would call me on CHristmas. This something was not a family or medical thing, so I am having a hard time understanding this. Am I seeing this all wrong and he is not avoiding me but just has some serious relationship issues? I can not answer for him, But my feeling are that wven thought he never actually told my any lies, his silence is worse.I hope you can see why I needed to just rant on about all of this. Thanks